posted an entry, only to realize I'd said too much, and erased it all for fear of the vulture press publishing my words in some twisted, misappropriated form.

haven't been sleeping. went through ordeal to get affordable sleeping pills. I hope the insomnia goes away in seven days or less.

school has started. so much to do, so little time or mental energy. busy and tired. just want to get on top of things.

wish I could take a vacation and leave myself at home. I feel like this experience has aged me decades, if not centuries. there is nothing so terrifying as the knowledge of the fragility of the human mind.

there are times when I can't stop going, and times when I can't do anything but stare off into space, my mind in no way connected to my body, nor willing to function on mundane things. how can anything be important anymore, least of all the day to day things that we rely on for steadiness.

I feel lost.