to: body@rootofallevil.com
from: stacy@pleasesomebodyshootme.com
re: said sleeping apparatus

dear body,

thank you for the warning, but I have one small request. since said sleeping apparatus will be large, and significantly lacking in both warmth and the presense of one boyfriend, I ask that you do your worst on me so I can spend as much of the time in it a babbling incoherant mess, and not aching in a gigantic, cold, empty sleeping apparatus. I would choose another sleeping apparatus, since there are three known available apparatus' within my familial dwelling, but I fear the gravitational pull of the memories associated with said apparatus will be too much for my now-fragile will to resist.

thank you,
stacy