okay, so not the whole computer. I've actually decided, today, that I'm just going to divorce AIM for an undecided amount of time. I've done it for about 4 days now, and I've discovered that I'm getting more of my homework/reading done, and having better conversations when I do talk to people. plus I've been feeling less depressed in general, and more productive. so yeah. I dunno when, or if I'll be picking up AIM again, but I'll keep y'all posted if I should change my mind on this.

things are going well. I'm knitting a hat and it's turning out really well so far. I'm probably a day or two from finishing it. been talking to some girls on campus who knit, and I think we're gonna get a knitting circle going, to hang out and shoot the shit and knit and talk about projects and trade end products and stuff. I need friends like burning, like that I can hang out with. I miss all my absent friends so much and I just can't take the isolation anymore, so this is a good thing for me, I think. I'm ready to shop around for a life, you could say.

in related news, my professors are all psychotic for the work load I'm under. I wish I could just say it's because of the course load I'm carrying, but I have 3 classes with reading loads that I would say are incompatible with any other class, even individually, so it's not my fault really. I'm sure next year will be the same though.

you know how life is like palm fronds, right? and how at each choice there are multiple intersections, each of which will cause your life to be just a little bit different from each of the others? I've been thinking a lot lately in terms of options, and I think it's a good thing. because no matter how attractive one option may seem, it's always helpful to have backup options, just in case that primary and oh-so-coveted option should fail to materialize.

so yeah. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling stable, and alive, and like I have choices and the possibilities of real friendships forming here maybe, and like I'm sailing my own ship again, kinda. It's a tenuous bit of progress I guess, but at least it's a type of progress, right? and I think that a lot of it has to do with me distancing myself from my computer, because in the past experiements just like this one have materialized very similar results. maybe I'm alergic to my computer? or maybe I just tend to make it the center of the universe and forget that there's a world out there worth exploring.