I feel like there's something to learn or say right now, and I just can't get to it... like there's something I can't communicate, and it feels just like it does before I really hit a mental/emotional growth spurt, and it's frustrating because I feel so absentminded, like I can't really focus on this thing because I'm waiting for this epiphany. I feel like my life is starting to really move, to really go somewhere, and it's exciting as all hell and really inspires me with a lot of hope for the future... like I'm finally back on track, and I'm not just plodding along on some steady road anymore, but starting to trailblaze in a different way... I'm getting more involved, I'm really starting to give a shit again, and it's the most wonderful thing, this end of the apathy... but it's scary too, to be fully alive all the time, to really take an active part in your own destiny. And I'm learning so much lately, things I didn't know before, and it's only going to get huger from here... I mean shit, I'm taking Chemistry and Zoology and Human Genetics, and those are all wholly uncharted waters for me. I know what to expect from Crit Theory and Approaches to Shakespeare because I've been doing the whole English thing for so long, and after a while it's really all the same... but this is all new... this is like reading the instruction manual for nature and life and the entire world around us... and it has spiritual applications too, because us witches are all about being able to see things in our minds... and now that I am starting to know what goes where and how everything works, I can picture things like healing and even just the proper workings, and the extreme interconnectedness of everything... And there will come a time when I can really merge the English skills I've aquired with the solid knowledge being poured into me from the science department, and when that happens I'll have the ability to really make changes and contributions to the world, either just by using my voice, or in some other way that is yet unseen to me. I feel like the limitations I put on myself for so long are gone now. I feel like I have potential again, like there are just strings and strings of neverending possibilities available to me. And nothing is definite, and it scares me to death, but there is so much potential, and I can't even really wrap my brain around it. I feel so... driven...