so how about there's this guy in my Dostoevsky class, and I swear that he is the single most pretentious person I have ever encountered in all the years of my existence. He talks in class all the time, which I do too, but he makes a point of pointing out that he remembers every Russian name in the book (he'll even say the names when someone else is trying to say something), that he can relate it to some bit of philosophy he's read, and that he's read further in the book than the professor this time around... but that's not even the worst part about this guy. no, the worst part about this guy is that he sits in the very back of the class with a smug, self-satisfied look on his face combing his fucking nasty, greasy, bleach-blond nappy ass hair with a pick. I swear he makes me want to claw my effing eyes out.

I've been checking around about marine bio programs and the prospect of double majoring, and I think I'm going to go talk to the head of the department here, because thats what my bio professor recommended. she said that based on what I told her about my performance in that class, as well as math and science grades from high school and college, that I'd be able to stay afloat, and probably do very well if I apply myself to it, and she said that this other guy, the head of the department, would be able to tell me more about the type of double major I'd be getting myself into, career opportunities, and all sorts of stuff. I would love to work at a really good aquarium, like Monterey Bay or Long Beach, maybe write publications there as well. it's a goal I haven't pursued in a really really long time, and I probably won't be able to do it, realistically speaking, because of other options I've dedicated myself to. sometimes it's really hard to know what to do about things, you know? of two huge and undoubtedly life-altering choices, which is the right one?

I just finished knitting my first hat, and it came out leagues better than my first crocheted hat, like I'm getting mad compliments on it, or people wanting me to teach them to knit or make them hats too. most people are shocked that I made it, that it didn't come from a store. not bad seeing as I haven't even been knitting a full two weeks yet. I'm working on a scarf for the boyfriend creature, which I suspect he agreed to more to shut me up than anything else. I want to finish it so that I can make myself another hat, in black so it will match more stuff. I'm speeding through all these projects because a) I can, and b) I vowed not to buy more yarn until I use up what I've already stock-piled. of course, that said, yarn would make an extremely welcome care package for yours truly, especially pretty yarn like mohair or something really soft and pretty.... you know, just in case you were thinking about it...

so it's just a tiny bit over a week until I'm in Pennsylvania visiting him. it's wierd, you know? to be so totally sure about something and yet so unsure in so many ways. I'm excited, and I'm scared, and nervous, and thrilled, and aching, and tons of other feelings for various and sundry reasons... sunday makes seven months.