Well, since I'm being harassed by all my friends I suppose I'd better post and just appease them.

Things have plummeted from bad to worse. Me and Facade got into it on the fourth because he is an absolute moron. He expected me to leave my 9 year old sister alone in a crowd of drunken strangers to go look for his directionally-challenged, brainless self. He didn't say this in front of my mother, of course. To her he'll only sing my praises, the lousy vomitous, festering postule on the posterior of humanity. I'd like to send him on a trip to the bermuda triangle. Me and my mother aren't speaking at all because she overheard me talking to my uncle about her. So lets examine this. She won't hear a damn word I'm saying about the situation, but I can't talk to anyone else about it, so apparently I'm supposed to keep it all to myself and ignore it. Great plan, mom, you gonna pay for my therapy for the rest of my life when it starts to manifest as clinical depression? You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

I've decided I'm not going on the "family" vacation. If this is the way it's going to be, I'm officially resigning from my position as her daughter. I'm giving her what she wants, I'm giving Facade what he wants. I'm getting out of their damn nuclear family, and they can live in a delusionary paradise all by themselves until my sister starts rebelling by starting fires and stealing money. Then when she gets older and detests the both of them, they can cuddle together (and by cuddle I mean molest one another as always) and wonder where they went wrong. By then I'll be teaching somewhere in the UK, my sister will have moved out to join me, and we can mend each others wounds since all our worries now all on deaf ears. Facade can rot in his own self-made prison, and so can my mother. She doesn't love him, and he doesn't love her, they're simply doing what they both do best: using each other.

Now that that little nugget of joy is out, I'm really worried about my Grandmother Mc'O. She has to go in for a risky procedure on Monday, and there's the chance she mightn't make it through the anesthesia. I'm crossing my fingers and pleading with the powers that be that she makes it through ok. I'm not ready to lose another relative. Not yet.

I've decided that if I can't find a job in the next few weeks, I'm just going to volunteer my time somewhere. I'm sick of sitting around all day, and I'd rather put my time to use doing good for people instead of feeling sorry for myself. Besides, it will look good on resumes and such. Hopefully I'll get a job though, and then I can do both.

confidential to Sky Wanderer: Listen to Mettie!!! He knows what he's talking about.

I meditated tonight for the first time, officially, and I had some rather interesting results. I think I'm a little afraid of exploring any powers/abilities I may have. Right now they're perfectly innocent, but I get the feeling they're really bigger than me. Well, eventually I've gotta face the music, right?