Ok, so the mostly awfulness has mostly passed, though my vision seems to have taken a hit. I bought some reading glasses at the grocery store, and they seem to be helping at least until I can get my eyes checked and get perscription lenses.

I went to the symphony last night. It was really awesome, and it happened to be the world premiere of the score for the new Lolita opera. It sounded really awesome, so maybe I'll check it out when the opera opens. Any time I go to a cultural event, it always makes me want to hone that talent. The symphony made me want to play instruments again, and the ballet, opera, and musical theatre always make me want to learn to dance and practice my singing more. I wish I had the tenacity to devote myself wholly to one thing like that, but I just can't seem to do it. I can do a lot of things pretty well... I'm pretty graceful (for the shape I'm in), I can play the flute, the clarinet, some piano, and a few other instruments pretty well, and everyone seems to like my voice, but I never feel like I'm a virtuoso at anything. I can write pretty well, I'm fairly smart, but sometimes I get around people who have studied certain things way more than me, and I feel inferior. I'm not sure which is better... being marginally good at a lot of things, or being truly exceptional at one thing specifically. And if I want to be exceptional at one thing, which would I pick? Is it good to be that narrow in ones focus?

Things are looking up financially. It may be tough, but we'll be able to scrape through this year and I'll be able to stay in school. Hopefully I'll get the RA position, next year if not this one, or if not the RA position, maybe I can be a resident computer consultant, which has the same benefits. I'm extremely relieved that I don't have to scrap this year. I waited 2 years after high school to go to college because I was unclear of what direction I wanted to take in life. Now I know what I want to do, and I'm doing so well, that I really think I'd be devistated if I had to take another break. It would be so much harder to go back. Fortunately I don't have to face that for at least another year. And, added to that, I will be getting to go to London in January. It's going to be an amazing trip! I'm so excited, and extremely lucky to have a family that's willing to help me through this.

Tuesday I have a meeting with the volunteer coordinator at my school regarding a project I want to start. I don't really want to connect the project too much to my school, but I want to work with them in order to get more people involved. I'm hoping to establish it as an entity unto itself so that I can help it to spread to other schools, especially since I have so many friends at UCLA and other schools. I want this idea to go places, not just become a fixture at my college.

Well, I have a paper to write, so I think it's time I stop procrastinating. I can't get any of the comments programs to work at the moment, so if you've got anything to say, contact me or post on the message board.