stacy was here (and probably spinning....): bleh... is it school time yet?















Stacy Was Here :
Back at the Beginning

Sunday, January 08, 2006

bleh... is it school time yet?

So school starts in just over a week. I know it's going to be stressful and that within a week I'll be over it and ready for another break, but I hate the in between times too because I feel bored and like I'm not accomplishing anything.

I'm worried about my mom and sister. My grandmother is, as usual, doing everything she can to make them both miserable. She made my sister cry yesterday by being in one of her damned woe-is-me-I'm-so-neglected moods and then yelling at her when my sister tried to make her feel better, god forbid. My mom needs a serious vacation from her, but of course that won't happen. She's taken to hovering around the entry way/kitchen in her wheelchair so that it's impossible to get in or out of the house without dealing with her and her constant nosiness and her constant guilt trips and pity parties. It just reminds me of the years I spent in that house, utterly miserable. It's like a big depression factory... She's really like a dementor, when you think about it. She works her mojo on you until you feel like you could never, ever be happy again. Really, she's the primary reason I went to school out of state and then up here. It hurts really bad to see her doing the same thing to my mom and sister , when I know they can't get out like I did. They won't have any peace until she's dead. It's particularly hard for my mother, because they used to be so close. I think I figured part of it out, that really, she's never accepted any of us for who we are, she just harbors these extreme ideals of who we're supposed to be, according to her, so that every single day when we go about being ourselves she's constantly disappointed. It wouldn't matter if I spent a full half of my time with her when I'm home, she'd still sit there being bitter and hating me for not spending the other half with her as well. But why should I? Being in that house with her is like poison.

But enough about her. I forgot to mention that I met the cutest kitten at home. Our stupid neighbors who can't take care of their own kids and have just stopped taking care of animals in the past got a pair of kittens who aren't even 2 months old, but are already being left outside in the rain and cold :( Tony, the one I fell in love with, is so cute and cuddly I just wanted to smuggle him home with me, but Fuzzy would get in trouble with the apartment people, so I couldn't. I just hate the idea of him being neglected like that. I know our other neighbor who recues cats will look after them, probably find them a new home, but I wanted to take him home with me.

He's the only animal that likes me better than Fuzzy. *sigh*

Ugh. I still have to get my books for the semester. Fortunately I can use the same Chem books for next semester, so that saves me over $200, but I don't want to know how much the o chem and biometry books are going to be. urgh. I love books and all, but seriously, these publishing companies take major advantage of students being forced to buy the books and jack up the price as much as they can. Jerks.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 11:47 AM   0 comments


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