stacy was here (and probably spinning....): 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005















Stacy Was Here :
Back at the Beginning

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

stacy too tired make whole post...

* camera was brought within inches of my door today, but since Fuzzy wasn't in the apartment, it stayed with the man in the little brown shorts. must wait until tomorrow now. woe.

* really depressed about the whole hurricane katrina thing. a) I always wanted to go to New Orleans, and now most of it isn't there anymore. b) really hard to wrap my brain around being trapped in a city thats underwater with no way to get out, no way to get food, no more home to go home to, job probably also underwater. how do you deal with that shit? and of course it's the poor and minorities that are in the deepest shit. stupid world.

* survived first bio quiz, think I did okay. now face 2-3 weeks of dealing with fruit flies, which is yucky, but it's a genetic experiment, which is sorta cool anyway. find myself in the unsuspected situation of being way more excited about my chem class than my bio class. interesting.

* have missed only one day at the gym, and that was planned due to day that begun at 8am and ended at 7:30 pm. if I had gone toward the light that evening, I coulda saved myself a lot of trouble.

* sooo. effing. tired.

* since my new goal is to have the new camera on my person at all times, let me know if there's something y'all want to see and if it can be done, I shall do it. when I'm not so tired *sleep*

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:39 PM   4 comments

Tuesday, August 30, 2005


posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 6:14 PM   11 comments

Monday, August 29, 2005

ah, cathartic disclosure of life details...

So, this year, my school has a new rec center, and joy of my heart, they finally got some treadmills and rowing machines and stuff that I actually enjoy using (unlike the uncomfortable bikes and stair machines that were the extent of my choices before.) Consequently I've started going every day (well, this started Saturday, so technically it's not a big accomplishment yet, so don't get too excited.) Now, I'm a big girl, and while I am okay with that and don't feel a particular need to lose weight, I am still human and so I still experience that drive to be beautiful. Mainly it's manifesting in the form of not wanting to look like the Stay-puft Marshmallow man on my wedding day. For the last few years my weight has been in the 240 lb range, which puts me squarely in the morbidly obese category. Most people don't guess that I weigh this much by looking at me (or they're all being nice, the lot of filthy liars), but it's still drastically unhealthy to weigh that much when you're 5'6" tall. It just so happens that the worst thing, the inner abdominal fat, the most unhealthy part, is the thing I most want to get rid of for the above marshmallowy reasons. So, you know, bonus. I know I get on people about the whole wanting to conform by being thin thing, and so I know it's a bit hypocritical to cave into the same pressure, but hear me out here. I'm doing this because I want to please myself. I will be happy if I just get a bit healthier and don't lose any weight. Losing the weight will be a huge bonus, but I also want to have the energy to really have a good time at the wedding. I don't want to have to sit anything out, you know? So yeah. I weighed myself tonight, and I'm down to 234, which is not a huge difference, but it's still less than I've weighed in a long time. It's enough to make all the soreness worth it, and believe me, I'm sore. I'm up to 15 minutes on the rowing machine, and man, is it working my shoulders. I'm not even going to shrug my shoulders until I take a nice, hot shower.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:23 PM   4 comments

Friday, August 26, 2005

crazyville gardens

right now there are three people in the parking lot out front working on a car. and when I say working on a car, I mean using a pickaxe, a sledge hammer, a regular axe, and a small metal hammer. and there is pounding. and a jeep attached to the front of the car via a dubious looking rope.

so who's in the "time stuff'll get blowed up" pool?

edit: Fuzzy just went out there with a chair, a fire extinguisher, and a beer. That's entertainment here at good ol' crazyville gardens.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 7:05 PM   0 comments

Thursday, August 25, 2005

random stuff (see: too tired to string thoughts together coherently)

* I am now the proud owner of three pairs of goggles for chem, because the first and second pairs I bought were apparently inadequate even though they met the criteria listed on the syllabus *facepalm*

* Had to spend two straight hours on my feet at work today. feet hurt. body aches. stupid obesity.

* the whole working thing is not going happily with the whole school thing. must make this work. must not lose mind. *determined face*

* best. chem teacher. ever. possibly the only individual on earth who could make an 8am chem lab enjoyable.

* here's romance for you... you drink milk like a fiend, you finish off the milk one morning and come home at the end of the day so effing tired you want to cry (ass opposed to making dinner, say) and find that wonderful fiance has brought home milk and dinner and chocolate and other things that make your day better. woot.

* they put the order for my new camera on hold *fumes*, so who the hell knows when they'll decide to actually send it *gnashes teeth*, and I'm starting to get really really irritated about it... I want my camera *pout*

* contrary to what I had expected, I think Chemistry is going to be easier than Biology... the lab for bio wasn't hard, but there was a lot of really intense info to go along with it... we'll see next week (first lab quiz.)

* Patrick will be here in like 2 weeks. I'm excited. Hopefully I'll be used to my schedule by then...

and... I'm done.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 8:00 PM   0 comments

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

for Meigan, and, to a lesser extent, for everyone...

you comment on this post, I will answer the following about you (answers in italics for Meigan):

1. I'll respond with a random thought I have about you.
Dude, why aren't we drinking Vernors and dancing around my room like idiots?

2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
Song? I swear, every time I hear a song by Journey I think of you. Movie? Goonies... and yelling HEEEEEYYYY YOOOOOUUUU GUUUYYYYSSSS across the quad at you in the winter...

3. I'll pick a flavor of Jell-O to wrestle with you in.
you know how in the commercial they show the sparkling jello made with soda water or something carbonated? that stuff... in some sorta pink fruity flavor...

4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or so we think).
this will make sense to Wendy and maybe a few other people, but what the hey: "It burns like hygeine..."

5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
I don't remember when we met, either... it had to be pretty early on, though, most of my memories of Chatham involve you somehow.

6. I'll tell you what intoxicant you remind me of.
Whatever you were drinking that one night in your room... LoL

7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
If you could do anything you wanted with your time, what would it be? Where would you like to travel? What adventures do you want to take?

8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your blog.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 8:47 PM   3 comments

Monday, August 22, 2005

Oh, the places you'll go...

So today was my first official day as a Biology major. It's something I've spent the last year and a half mentally preparing for, but last night I found myself utterly mentally unready for it. I was really scared, to the point where I couldn't sleep, and when I did sleep it was to meet dreams of incorrect calculations and utter, abject failure. I've been so anxious that I've already read a bit farther ahead than I need to. Class actually relaxed me a bit though, when I saw that my classmates are the usual cross-section of students and not a room full of pulsating brains waiting to judge me and find me lacking. So far the whole thing is an extraordinarily expensive process... I've spend over $400 on school supplies, and I still have more to go. *sigh* But overall, I'm looking forward to it, and my goal is to set the curve in all my classes...

So y'all remember how I bought that huge and lovely digital camera? And I'm sure y'all have noticed that while the pictures were forthcoming for about a month after it arrived, they've been sadly lacking for the most part? Well, that's because it's a wonderful camera, but it's huge, and just taking it around is a real production, so I only take photos on carefully planned excursions, which is fine for carefully planned excursions, but not for the in between moments, which are really the best, sometimes. So, with the pending arrival of my financial aid check just around the corner, and given that I found it for a really good price, we've ordered
this one, which is supposed to fit in my pocket, and should afford more pictures of my general existence. I am excited, and I hope it gets here soon.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 8:12 PM   0 comments

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Reflections on the number three...

Originally uploaded by shadowmousey.
So last night we went out to celebrate our three year anniversary... It was a week late since I spent our proper anniversary, August 9th, in So Cal, but as this is the first one we've actually gone out for, it was worth the wait. It's wierd to think that we've really been together this long, the time has passed by so quickly. We've accomplished so much, together, though, especially in the last year. This is the first year we've been living together full time, out on our own like a couple of real grownups. It's been new territory for both of us, but as always we've navigated it spectacularly...

Being home this last week, I thought a lot about my Aunt Fran, who was honestly the only person in my family who really understood me. If she were still alive, my wedding would be quite different, not so much in the planning, but on the actual day it would be really obvious. Her and my mom would have tossed back a few, and reminisced and laughed and pounded on tables and generally just been as rowdy and ill-behaved as me and my Chatham girls are when we get around a table together. And Aunt Fran would have pulled Fuzzy out on the dance floor for a dance, and she would have just loved him as much as I do, and she would have been thrilled to the ends of the earth that I found him. It would have been a meeting of the only two people who've understood me in such a wonderful and unselfish way.

I've always sort of cherished this image in my head, of Aunt Fran and Chris's mom getting together in heaven, tenting their fingers together a la Mr. Burns and guiding our internet wanderings on that fateful night. I never got to meet Chris's mom, so I guess I'll never really know, but I really hope she would have liked me, and I hope she would have known how much I love her son, and how badly I want to make him happy. He is the best man I have ever met in my entire life, and I'm not sure what I did to deserve him, but I will always do my best to be worthy of him.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 1:29 PM   0 comments

Monday, August 15, 2005

back in the 'boldt.

I'm back home now, home meaning Humboldt county with Fuzzy, the geckos, and our demented trio of furry feline beasties. It was nice to be home to visit the mama and Amie and a few friends, but most people ended up blown off because I just did not have enough time to see everyone. I mean, I really went back because a) we have to do wedding crap sometime, and b) my grandmother is in a convalecent home and her remaining time on Earth is debatable. So yes, I went to see her at least once every day I was home. I won't lie, it was a hard thing to do, the home is really creepy, and it smells bad, and it's really depressing and a bit unnerving to see people suffering a wide range of derailments in their twilight years and to think that they were once fully functional people with careers and families and interests and all of the things that are important to me. And yes, me and my grandmother have never been exceptionally close, that's no secret either, and my feelings this week have surprised me. Not to be cold or anything, but after everything she's put me through in my life, I wasn't sure what to expect when this time came. I was sort of afraid that I wouldn't feel anything at all, actually, that I'd be a little too ready for her to pass on. That is not the case, which is sort of a blessing because at least I know that, despite it all, she hasn't quashed my ability to love her and care about her, which says something about my capacity to love and also about my capacity to forgive. I'm glad to be human, even if it means a tougher grieving process. And in her infirmity, somehow my sister and I have risen to god-like status in her eyes, and I seem to have taken Chris with me at least part of the way. If I was able to handle being in that place every day, it was because I could see how happy it made her for me to be there. She didn't even say anything about tuxedo's this trip, I think she's finally come to grips with the fact that we're doing the wedding our way, even if Chris ends up in his usual attire of khaki shorts and a hawaiian shirt. I think at this point she's working more on being there, and I think if it's humanly possible for anyone to last that long in her condition, she will do it. I really hope she does, it would be nice to have one natural grandparent there on my big day.

Me and my mom got quite a bit accomplished this week, actually. Monday we went to the LA flower mart and bought a shitload of flowers for under $40. By shitload, I mean that we each (me, Momma, and Amie) had our arms full of hydrangeas, lisianthus, larkspur, delphinium, queen anne's lace, lemon leaf, tree fern, etc etc etc. I taught my mom how to make corsages, which is much more up her line than flower arranging, and I think it's really made her feel better about the whole thing. Corsages are easier because the flowers are all wired, so they generally stay where you put them, which she likes. I put together some small vase arrangements, and so she knows at least that I can do them fairly easily, especially since I'm not terribly picky, and because it's pretty hard to make flowers look bad. For the bouquet, I've decided my first choice is lisianthus and sweet pea, because I think it will look really nice, and a bit more delicate than the big ball o'hydrangea, which I like. If it doesn't turn out how I want it, the big ball o'hydrangea will more than suffice, and it'll be an easy solution to crazy bride syndrome, should the bouquet adventure induce it. We also got the lace for my dress, my dream lace, the lace that looks like spun gossamer. It cost $30 a yard, but hot damn if it isn't the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. My mom isn't even finished with the prototype dress, but we wanted to make sure we got it while they still had it. We also decided on the material for the rest of the dress, though that we can order any time. I can't remember the name of it. My mother swears it sounds like "shanghai", which it really doesn't, but it's really cool fabric... it's only very slightly shimmery, so I won't be stuffed into some blinding satiny contraption. It has a matte, almost papery feel to it that I really like because it looks simpler. The lace will make an appearance at the neckline, and peeking out from under the split in the over skirt. I don't want to over-do it, I just want it to be pretty. I'm excited about the prototype dress, too, because it's a really pretty blue print, and it'll be great for fancy candle-lit dinners on the honeymoon. We also went by a cake shop recommended by one of my grandmothers therapists, and we got their "cake nachos" which are pieces of cakes that they would otherwise discard, and you usually eat them with whipped cream or filling to dip it in, but we got it without. I was too full from breakfast (the heat makes my appetite virtually disappear), but my mom ate them after my flight left and she said they really just melted in her mouth, so sounds promising.

The mamma has also put her foot down and demanded that Chris come down for the holidays, so the two of us will be down around Christmas at some point. Somewhere along the line we became one of those power couples that people set their watches by. People who've known me forever as an individual now see me and ask where he is. It doesn't bother me because I missed him the whole week, too. Plus we have to pick out a suit at somepoint, and I'm guessing he'll enjoy the cake tasting as well...

So I registered before my trip home, and I got all of my classes, which was good, but my books are going to be well over $400, which sucks major ass, especially since my financial aid check isn't mailed out until the first day of classes, so I had to blow almost my entire last pay check on books, and I'm not even done yet *facepalm*. Classes start a week from today, and I'm very excited about them really. Can't wait to get back into the swing of things.

Also, the futon is now complete and opperational, so for all you guys visiting us this fall, you'll have a comfy and spacious place to sleep. Thanks to Anthony for helping with getting it up here, it is mucho appreciated.

To those people I didn't get to see this trip home, sorry 'bout that, I did try, but it's become impossible to be able to see everyone in one week. I will do my best to make the next trip longer so I can see everyone.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 8:11 PM   3 comments

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