stacy was here (and probably spinning....): 02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003















Stacy Was Here :
Back at the Beginning

Friday, February 28, 2003

I think I'm giving up on my computer for a while.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 9:50 PM   0 comments

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

todays going alright so far. I'm almost done with another scarf, which is the first thing I've knitted, so I can start another one tonight maybe. I talked to my mom on the phone last night, and she said that her and Amie are probably going to come up and visit me in April, so woot woot, I have something else to look forward to. It's pretty much right between when I get back from spring break and when I finish up for the summer, maybe a little closer to summer, so it'll be a nice break up of the monotony of classes. Plus all I have to really do then is study for a Bio exam, and provided I start early I shouldn't be too bogged down while they're here, I hope I hope I hope. I know I'll have reading and stuff, but let's face it, there's no way I'm going to finish all these books in this one semester. hey, at least I'll have stuff to read over the summer, right? that's after I read the new Harry Potter book, of course, which I can't effing wait for.

so this week is almost over, after today, and yay for that. The one good thing about Monday and Wednesday being long is that it makes the weeks pass ridiculously fast.

I filled out my fafsa last night and it turns out I don't have to put my moms info on it this time, so maybe I'll get more money. Won't make that much difference for Humboldt, but I'm putting Chatham on there just to see what they offer me, and it might make a profound difference in that vein, maybe. So yeah, we'll see what happens right?

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 2:00 PM   0 comments

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

so it looks like Scotland is ready to start accepting refugees from the Bush police state. who's with me?

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 11:40 PM   0 comments

hey look, a survey

B A S I C . Q U E S T I O N S-

[in the morning i am]: tired and quiet.
[all i need is]: to be near my friends
[love is]: a lot of work.
[if i could see one person right now]: we'd drink pepsi and eat a hypothetical pizza.
[i'm afraid of]: everyone forgetting about me.
[i dream about]: being done with college.

-W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R-
[coke or pepsi]: pepsi
[flowers or candy]: flower, I guess... not real fond of candy, but bunches of heather are the sweetest things ever.
[tall or short]: depends on who we're talking about. if it's jockeys, then short. basketball players, however, should be tall.

-W I T H . T H E . O P P O S I T E . S E X-
[what do you notice first?]: eyes
[last person you slow danced with]: prom date, junior year.
[worst question to ask]: oh man... there are a ton of bad questions...

-W H O-
[makes you laugh the most?]: duh, Wendy.
[makes you smile]: lotsa people... Steve makes me smile lots.
[gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: people I went to high school with.
[who do you have a crush on?]: I would say the boyfriend, but that's not really a crush anymore, so I guess I'll say Colin Firth.
[has a crush on you?]: no one, 'cept maybe that guy in my bio lab.
[easiest to talk to]: Wendy and Steevie.

-D O . Y O U . E V E R-
[Stay on aim, waitin for someone special to IM you]: yeah, but I give up after a while.
[save aol/aim conversations]: yeah.
[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: only for one week of the month.
[cry because of someone saying something to you]: yeah. I'm told I'm sensitive.

-H A V E . Y O U . E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend]: I've had crushes on best friends... does that count?
[been rejected?]: too many times to count.
[rejected someone]: a few times.
[used someone]: yeah, but it was a mutual thing.
[been cheated on]: yeah.
[cheated on someone]: nope.
[done something you regret]: *cough*transfer to Huboldt*cough*.

-W H O . W A S . T H E . L A S T . P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: Wendy Lady
[hugged]: god, I dunno.... prolly my mom or my sister when I left home. god that's sad.
[you instant messaged]: the boyfriend
[instant messaged you?] Wendy
[you laughed with]: Wendy

D O . Y O U / / A R E . Y O U-
[color your hair]: have within the last six months, no immediate plans to do so again.
[ever get off the computer]: yeah, for homework.
[habla espanol]: Donde esta Del Taco?
[smoke cigaretes]: nope.
[obsessive]: about grades, yeah.
[could you live without the computer?]: would be interesting to try.
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?]: 83.
[what's your favorite food?]: mexican food.
[whats your favorite fruit?]: bananas, strawberries, mango, pineapple.
[drink alchohol?]: rarely.
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: sunset. I'm never up in time for sunrise.
[what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?]: emotional pain, definitely. I can handle physical pain like a pro.
[trust others way too easily?]: sometimes.


Five details about you...
[x] my self-esteem is okay but my body image is the suck.
[x] I want to be a college professor.
[x] I'm really picky about people.
[x] I should really be somewhere else right now.
[x] I'm repulsively lonely.

Five details about your appearance right now...
[x] little tiny socks.
[x] embroidered jeans.
[x] glasses.
[x] no makeup.
[x] hair up.

Five things you did today
[x] watched a video on Russia.
[x] had a reproductive system battle of the sexes in bio.
[x] filled out my fafsa.
[x] turned in my housing contract.
[x] talked to Wendy.

Five memorable things you did in the last year...
[x] changed schools.
[x] met the boyfriend creature.
[x] drove the length of California 5 times.
[x] almost died.
[x] became a good student.

Five things that everyone should know about you...
[x] I'm not good at first impressions.
[x] I like to read, but not as much as I used to.
[x] I'm not as predictable as you think.
[x] I have a greeting card on my wall with a Wombat on it from Steve.
[x] I *heart* Odwalla fruit drinks.

Five favorite groups
[x] the Eagles
[x] Queen
[x] Tenacious D
[x] NIN
[x] Belle and Sebastian

Five favorite songs...1 from each of the above
[x] Witchy Woman.
[x] The Show Must Go On.
[x] Wonderboy.
[x] A Warm Place.
[x] Get Me Away From Here (I'm Dying).

Five favorite movies...
[x] Princess Bride.
[x] Breakfast Club.
[x] Nightmare Before Christmas.
[x] The Neverending Story.
[x] Labarynth.

Five things that make you happy...
[x] best friends.
[x] knitting.
[x] Amie hugs.
[x] upcoming travel plans.
[x] cranberry lip balm.

Five people who mean a lot to you
[x] Amie.
[x] mom.
[x] boyfriend creature.
[x] Wendy.
[x] Steve.

five things that disgust you
[x] smoking, cigarettes or the wacky tabacky my roommates are oh so fond of.
[x] the bush administration.
[x] war.
[x] tofu.
[x] school budget cuts.

Five things that impress you...
[x] intelligence.
[x] compassion.
[x] dedication.
[x] understanding.
[x] honesty.

Five things that don't impress you...
[x] money.
[x] arrogance.
[x] insincerity.
[x] fancy cars.
[x] ignorance.

Five things you can't live without...
[x] friends.
[x] books.
[x] certain family members.
[x] freedom.
[x] burts bees.

Five things you'll do when you complete this...
[x] go read.
[x] be frustrated.
[x] think things vehemently.
[x] read.
[x] knit.

[The story behind your LJ user name]: it's an old AOL screenname that I've had for like 300 years.
[Are you a lesbian?]: No, but the entire population of Chatham College thinks I am.
[Where do you live]: Podunk, CA
[4 words that sum you up]: tired, frustrated, busy, lonely, stuck.

[Hairbrush]: I have a couple. the newest is red and black.
[Jewelry worn daily]: 1 amethyst ring, one phoenix/fleur de lis pendant.
[Pillow cover]: purple
[Coffee cup]: cobalt blue
[Shoes]: athletic shoes.
[Favorite shirt]: green with white stripes.
[Favorite pants]: black dickies.
[Cologne/Perfume]: V'e Versace, Sweet Pea by Bath and Body Works.
[CD in stereo right now]: the Eagles greatest hits.
[Piercings]: ears.
[Makeup]: none at the moment.
[In my head]: too much shit to recount.
[Wishing]: I could wake up tomorrow and not be here.
[The last thing you ate?]: cereal, this morning.
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: a cat, black, named Pywacket.
[What are 3 states you wouldn't mind relocating to?]: Pennsylvania, Washington state, Massachussetts.
[What's something/one you wish you could understand better?]: lots of things come to mind.
[Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time?]: my mom and sister, Wendy, Steve, and the boyfriend creature.

01 | travel more.
02 | get my PhD.
03 | figure out where the hell I belong.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 7:28 PM   0 comments

oh, look... it's my life...

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 5:29 PM   0 comments

I was digging around in my bags from my trip home over christmas break, and when I looked inside one of them, I found that Cranberry lip balm that you bought me at the Cerritos mall, when all of us were there with Amie... the one we raved about all throughout the Cerritos mall, and I swear, it's still the absolute most bestest thing ever.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 5:08 PM   0 comments

Monday, February 24, 2003

so okay, the end of last week was exceptionally shitty, but Saturday through Monday have turned out to be good enough to make up for it. I would have posted this stuff last night, but effing blogger was down for like 3 years.

saturday, I went down to the local fabric store. my friend Sarah works there, and she told me that if I came in and got some knitting needles that she would teach me how to knit, and so I took her up on it. I like knitting a lot better than crochet because it's faster, and the end result is springier. plus I think I'm better at knitting already, my tension is a lot better so that everything doesn't come out really tight. plus I like the needles more, heehee. so I finished the hat I was crocheting, and I'm midway through the scarf she started me out on, and after that I'm hoping to finish 2 more scarves before spring break, one for me and one for the boyfriend. and yes, I promise not to make it look too girly.

sunday was the roommates birthday, and we went for a hike and I took pictures of her. we dropped the film off and I bought more knitting needles for the above mentioned projects, (also, the other projects for which I bought more yarn... heehee... addicted? me?), as well as a little bag to keep all this crap in. picked up the pictures and they came out good, so they'll be going into my portfolio, woot woot. got back, found a parking space (on a Sunday!), and finished the above mentioned hat. it came out good, shaped right and all that stuff, but it's a wee bit tight. I've been told that it will stretch out over time, and I am told that it looks cute, so maybe it's not as bad as I thought...

today has been good, but excessively long... got a paper back in my Women's Studies class, and I got an A+ on it, though I should most definitely note that this teacher grades really easily, because I think almost everyone got either an A or a B. turns out she's not going to make us write the formal paper, she's going to make it a take-home essay quiz thing like this last one was, so woot woot for less work for me. after that had bio lab, and I got my midterm back, and I got a 92%, so at least it's an A... I missed 2 points on one question because I wrote a sentence wrong, so I'm going to go to the prof and see if I can get those 2 points. I know it's incredibly anal-retentive of me, to sqable over 2 measly points, but I want an A in the class, because if I get an A- that will mean my gpa won't be an actual 4.0... I still don't know how likely I am to achieve that 4.0, but I'm seriously trying, so every point counts, right? plus what if I blow the next exam? then that 2 points will matter even more. and anyway, like I said before, school is really all I have here to focus on... it might be different if there was something else even remotely fulfilling about being here, but there isn't, so I might as well take advantage of it, right? meh.

I started the paper for my Dostoevsky class that's due tomorrow. that makes it the first time I've ever started a paper before the night before it was due. but then, I only wrote a page, so maybe it's not as momentous as all that.

there are 18 days between now, and me being in PA. it's starting to really sink in, and I'm starting to get really really excited. just a little more than 2 weeks and I'll be there with him... sooooooo excited....

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 5:21 PM   0 comments

Friday, February 21, 2003

I just don't want to be me anymore, okay? Can I trade myself in for a different model?

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:39 PM   0 comments

so today has sucked, pretty much all the way through. I should have just stayed in bed.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 3:55 PM   0 comments

Thursday, February 20, 2003

pssssssst.... Chris. hey, Chris!... can we live in Vermont?


posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:35 PM   0 comments

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

so I've been feeling kind of flat lately... like dead, like nothing really matters and I'm just plodding along going through the motions out of instinct more than actual will. it's pouring down rain like mad, today, and I'm soaking wet even though my roommate let me borrow her umbrella. and it doesn't really matter what I do today or tomorrow because it's not really going to change anything about anything. my sphere of influence has shrunk so that it is almost unrecognizable at this point, really. it's gotten so small to where I don't even really think I have that much influence over myself, because I keep going through the motions even though my heart isn't in anything right now. I guess this is probably just another defense mechanism, because if my heart wasn't really in it then it wouldn't bother me or I could just give up or something.

today when I get done with class I'll go back to my room and read for a while, until I finish Crime and Punishment because I have to write a paper on it this week. and then who knows. this morning the internet was down and maybe it's a sign I should just leave my computer off today, since I don't really have the time I've been sqeezing out of my day to talk to people.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 1:20 PM   0 comments

Monday, February 17, 2003

so I am really really tired right now... like I can barely hold my head up tired... life if I could get into an even remotely comfortable position and close my eyes for 5 seconds, I would be asleep already. but lucky me. I have 3 hours left to go. doh!

got my first bio quiz back today, and I got a 14/15, so go me. tomorrow, however, is my first biology midterm, so needless to say, even when I do get home tonight, I've got a few hours to go before I can sleep at all. damn college, and damn me for taking 20 effing units. I don't know anyone else besides me who is taking that many units this semester... a few people are close, but no ones taking quite as many. I know I can do it, and maybe even pull off that 4.0 I so desperately desire, it's just that I won't be able to move for a few months after this semester ends, because I fully expect to lapse into a coma. hopefully this summer will afford me some quality down time.

speaking of summer, I need to find a way to procure some cash flow without finding gainful employment, because I don't have time for gainful employment at the current moment. here are things I am willing to do in exchange for money: post text ads on my site, do professional portraits (which yes, I do have experience in... if you're interested in my portfolio, contact me using the link to the above right), build websites, crochet things, and type stuff. I'm sure there are other things I could do... I'm an english major, pretty creative, fairly intelligent, and all that stuff... if you've got any ideas, let me know... I can't sell plasma for health reasons, dag nabbitt, and I can't sell my ovaries because they don't work. so yeah, if you can think of anything, or need any of the aforementioned services, give me a holler.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 6:12 PM   0 comments

so I'm really kicking myself now, because I've been, for the past few weeks, effectively proving to myself that I don't need a gym membership to get in shape effectively, meaning that all the time and money I've spent in the past has been futile. *sigh* the only thing I really really wish I had was a treadmill, because if I could walk in the comfort of my own apartment, I know I could be doing at least 3 or 4 miles a day, quite easily, while reading for homework. aside from that I've been able to find exercises that work pretty much everything, with my most expensive piece of equipment being a pair of resistance bands I got in ballet class last year for $10. woot.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 12:35 AM   0 comments

Sunday, February 16, 2003

oh look, more quizzes... I'm bored and lonely, suffer.

The down-to-earth girl
The down-to-earth girl

Which girl stereotype are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're Trash!

Which Return of the Living Dead Character Are You???
brought to you by Quizilla

Which Weetzie Bat character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:43 PM   0 comments

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 4:37 PM   0 comments

Friday, February 14, 2003

so did I mention that, not only is tomorrow officially only one month from when I get to see him again, but it's also the shortest effing month of the year.

//insert sarcasm here
I'm just a little bit excited.
//end sarcasm

oh yeah, and I am noticing another side effect to the birth control. I may be crazy, but I think my boobs are getting a little bigger, lol.

//insert sarcasm here
//end sarcasm

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:42 PM   0 comments

so todays been decent. only had one class, but I went to it even though we were just watching a movie... had three hours to kill, so I went and walked 2 miles on the track, and then got brave and actually weighed myself, and it turns out I've lost 10 pounds... go me. after that I practiced with the doo-wap people I've been singing with since last semester, and we're putting together some good stuff, hopefully it'll go somewhere.

I've decided that I need a Dr. Adam to chase around for seven miles a day like when I was in London. I lost soooo much weight in those two weeks, I'm convinced if I had him to chase around I could do it again... maybe even just a little cardboard version of him on a track like in dog races, instead of a rabbit...

I have so much shit to do this weekend it's crazy... I have 2 books to finish, and 100 pages of another to read (about 500 pages right there)... plus I have a paper to start, a bio midterm to study for, and another thing to write for psych of women. pfeh. homework sucks. stacy smash.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:16 PM   0 comments

Thursday, February 13, 2003

Love Song - The Cure

whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am home again
whnever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am whole again

whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am young again
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am fun again

however far away
i will always love you
however long i stay
i will always love you
whatever words i say
i will always love you
i will always love you

whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am free again
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am clean again

however far away
i will always love you
however long i stay
i will always love you
whatever words i say
i will always love you
i will always love you

and yes, this is really goobery of me and all that stuff, but dammit, suffer!

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:20 PM   0 comments

Wednesday, February 12, 2003

ahhh, nothing like loud angry music to help one sink ever deeper into a pit of continual self-loathing...

I hate myself.
I hate my body.
I hate myself for hating my body.
I hate this place.
I hate this loneliness.
I hate this self-imposed emotional isolation.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:05 PM   0 comments

sometimes I wonder if people really hear the words that they're saying... or if they know that sometimes what you don't say is worse than what you do.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 9:21 PM   0 comments

day decent so far. class I didn't read for (brit lit) cancelled this morning. go me. watched movie in women's studies, which I also am lax in reading for. in large breaks (5 hours total) managed to read most of tomorrows Dostoevsky reading, meaning I don't have to do much tonight when I get home besides crochet and (hopefully) talk to fuzzy. go me.

I'm tired, and exceptionally ready for this semester to be over with so that I can start getting ready for next year to be over as well. only 31 days remaining until spring break. muahahahahahaha.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 3:53 PM   0 comments

Tuesday, February 11, 2003

oh, and an update on the birth control... so far my head hasn't fallen off, I've noticed no negative side effects (oh god, it's clearing up my skin, THE HORROR!!! [wait wait... did I just quote Apocalypse Now!??? I am SOOO fired..), and I seem a bit more mentally stable than on the other pills... I think I can live with this, hopefully it doesn't fucking up stuff in a couple weeks.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 11:23 PM   0 comments

and now, some haiku:

har har, a postcard
with greeting: "Hola, my friend!"
arrived here today

didn't do much work,
crocheted a hat (but it looks
like a yarmulke)

I love my boyfriend,
even when he is a bum,
or when he is fired.

got some news today,
made me giggle and EEEEEEEEEEEee
and wish I could tell

life is good in the
absence of fucktardery.
I hope it will last.

wish that my roommate
would not start conversations
when I am reading.

Labels: ,

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 11:13 PM   0 comments

Monday, February 10, 2003

so, the day is finally effing over, and I am back in cutoff sweats and a grubby tshirt and my fuzzy slippers... I have removed the spackle from my face, the shoes that were starting to wear the skin off my feet, and the fishnets, my hair is tied back, and I have settled safely back into comfort. some observations and todays experiences:

generalized female reaction: "wow, you look (nice/fancy/pretty/beautiful) today! whats the occasion?"
generalized male reaction: "uh, you're dressed up today."

I was engaged in conversation by 3 males that I have never talked to before. hmmmm... one of them was in a class with me last semester, and even though he usually sits on the other side of the room, sat by me and we chatted in class. another seemed somewhat nervous about talking to me during bio lab, but finally asked my name as I was walking away. the third is in my brit lit class and bumped into me at the depot.

got complimented on my shoes.

my women's studies professor, the one who's been stressing how important it is to challenge gender norms and be aware of the positive and negative reinforcement we offer people for gendered behavior, made a point of telling me I looked beautiful *smacks forehead*

found that some girls who normally talk to me, were noticably more reserved around me today... a few were even openly distainful... assholes.

one girl, in my colloquium class, was a complete cunt to me while we were in small discussion groups. she made a point to disregard every effing thing I said, and kept giving me looks like I'm an idiot or something. wanted to smack her. not sure if this is due to dress & makeup, or not, because I've never talked to her before. she can take her superiority complex and shove it, thank you, I got a 4.0 last semester. cunt.

noticed that fewer people smiled back at me this morning than usual, though not sure if thats due to dress & makeup, or due to it being monday morning. did, however, notice more people looking at me when they thought I wasn't looking. pfeh.

overall, was interesting experience, would do it again in more comfortable shoes and attire with pockets. maybe. if I didn't have to get up early. maybe.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:56 PM   0 comments

so today is operation tart-up, and you know what? I know why I don't do this shit all the time... first of all, it's really freaking irritating to wear an outfit with no pockets... ARGH... hello, functionality, what? and my hair keeps getting caught under my back pack, and meh meh meh meh meh... 'course I am getting more attention, and more varieties of attention today, which is interesting... And I deliberately chose today because I encounter the most people, but I forgot that this is the day that never freaking ends...

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 1:11 PM   0 comments

Sunday, February 09, 2003

so, yeah, heehee... six months today... *bees all goobery an stuff*

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:51 PM   0 comments

Wednesday, February 05, 2003

so tomorrow I'm doing this gender identity experiment... I'm going to do something I don't normally do...

I'm going to dress up like a tart... fishnet stockings, short velvet skirt, makeup and hair done to a t....

we'll see what happens ;)

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:24 PM   0 comments

a question of lust

Like a baby in your arms
Be gentle with me
I'd never willingly
Do you harm

Are all you seem to get from me
But just like a child
You make me smile
When you care for me
And you know......

It's a question of lust
It's a question of trust
It's a question of not letting
What we've built up
Crumble to dust
It is all of these things and more
That keep us together

Is still important for us though (we realise)
It's easy to make
The stupid mistake
Of letting go (do you know what I mean)

My weaknesses
You know each and every one (it frightens me)
But I need to drink
More than you seem to think
Before I'm anyone's
And you know......

It's a question of lust
It's a question of trust
It's a question of not letting
What we've built up
Crumble to dust
It is all of these things and more
That keep us together

Kiss me goodbye
When I'm on my own
But you know that I'd
Rather be home

It's a question of lust...

Depeche Mode

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:02 PM   0 comments

meh... I loathe Mondays and Wednesdays, have I mentioned that?? and I have large breaks enabling me to check my email, did I mention that as well??

things are going okay... I was going to slack off a little last night and not quite read as much of Vanity Fair as I was supposed to, but then I admitted that this professor has an admitted propensity for pop quizzes, and what luck I remembered that, because we had one this morning. I'm sure I did fine, so not worried about that at all. and bonus, I've gotten through half of the Dostoevsky I need to have read by tomorrow, so I don't have to cram it all in tonight.

so my body hasn't shown any sign of rejecting the new birth control, which is most excellent because it saves me lots and lots of money that I don't have to spend. no side effects, good or bad, have shown themselves, except I think I might be a little less irritable, but that may just be my imagination, so until it shows proof of lasting, I'm not going to equate one with the other.

so it's still sinking in that I have the tickets and I'm actually going... I imagine it will hit me sometime during the last week, just like last time.

there also seems to be a small chance I can catch up with the Wendy Lady during my 3 hour stopover in Pittsburgh in both directions. which would be excellent. on the way back we could curl up in an uncomfortable airport seat and cry and imagine we're watching a cheezy video for "Melt With You" by Modern English...

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 3:42 PM   0 comments

Tuesday, February 04, 2003

so today was a beach day... anyone from California will understand this, maybe those in other coastal states as well, but it was sunny, and the sky was blue, and there was a light breeze, just enough to keep it from getting anything like hot... and I'm walking around school, and I can smell the ocean, smell the salt water smell, like at shoreline village or Corona Del Mar, or Newport Beach... and it's one of those days I wish I was on a boat out past the breakers, just there, surrounded by water, away from the sound of traffic or cities or anything like that.

'course, I had class and all that... sooo no ocean for Stacy.

took that test in my Dostoevsky class (btw, I added large assignments to my calendar, if anyone wants to see how much work I've got coming my way)... it was one of those tests that you absolutely cannot study for, like on philosophy of the book or how this concept influenced the book, and blah blah blah blah... and this effing test is 10% of my grade and the prof made it sound like it was just a formality to make sure we had read it... and I might of done okay, but I also might have done horrible, and right now I'm just going to take a moment of silence to wish evil on him.....

went to bio, but since the lecture is just a rehash over what I've read on my own and I'm not having problems understanding, I sat and listened and crocheted the whole time, sitting against the back wall... I didn't take notes because I might as well have copied my reading notes over. it was kind of nice, and just as easy to listen...

went to the track after lunch, walked a mile and a half, and ran into Margie... I might get into her water aerobics class, but if I do I'm going to audit it so that I don't have to worry about units or credit/no credit, or attendance, or any of those things which might make it resemble a class. I don't know though... I got back to my room and took a nap which ended up being about an hour longer than I had set out for, because I just couldn't wake up... I had just enough energy to turn over and whack the alarm clock, but as far as any other movement, it just wasn't happening. I felt like someone had beaten me with a 2x4... maybe I won't take the class... or maybe I'll try it on Thursday and see, and talk to my academic advisor tomorrow to see what her thoughts are... hell, for all I know she won't even allow me to take it, so that would make the decision easy, no?

so I woke up from my nap and went out, and there's a slip saying I have a package waiting for me, and at first I didn't know what it was, and then I remembered... oh please, let it be the tickets, oh please oh please oh please... and it was for that and that alone that I walked down the effing hill again, knowing damn well it meant a return trip up the effing hill, but I got the package, and it's the plane tickets...

and all I can think right now as I try to drag my tired brain over Vanity Fair is

oh. my. god... the tickets are in my hands... I'm actually going to see him in 39 days...

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 7:29 PM   0 comments

Monday, February 03, 2003

since I am a masochist and all that, I posted a link to a pop-up window with my progress on all that new years resolution stuff.

maybe it'll make me stick to it.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 11:56 PM   0 comments

so I think I've figured out whats been missing from my existence...

loud, angry music


posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 10:33 PM   0 comments

so I'm in a different computer lab right now, which only has macs in it, and you know what? I don't like macs, I've decided. I mean sure, it's colorful and all that, but I find nothing whatsoever in this computer that is better than a PC, and frankly I find th way it operates to be a little irritating... the mouse only has 1 button, for goodness sakes...

there is one thing about it that I like, and that's the keyboard, because it's little and the keys don't make a lot of noise when I type.

bio was interesting enough, we hiked up to CCAT and mosied around for a while... they actually have a TV there that is hooked up to an exercise bike, and you pedal the bike to operate the TV... and I can't decide whether I like this idea or whether I think it's ridiculous... I mean, isn't the whole purpose of TV to be lazy and veg out? then again, if all TVs operated that way, maybe there'd be less overweight people, and maybe I'd be one of them... either way, it's interesting... they also have a bike-powered blender... interesting... you could work off a margarita before you're done making it, LoL...

I am so tired right now it's untrue. I kept wanting to curl up in class and fall asleep, but fortunately I've managed to stay awake thus far... I have one more class, in about an hour, and it's two hours long (please shoot me), but I have to go because it's only once a week and only for half the semester... technically I can afford to miss like 2 class meetings, but I fully recognize that I am going to be wasted by the time I get back from spring break (Saturday, 11 hours on planes or in airports, crash at Mikeys, and then a 5 hour drive the next day = one dead Stacy)... and since this class is on a Monday, and late at that, I'm going to want to be able to miss it that day, so hopefully I can hold out until then. anyway, after today, the worst of the week is over, and I've done my homework through tomorrow, so I really don't have to do any homework tonight, although I am planning to start Vanity Fair and Crime and Punnishment. and at least tomorrow I can get back to my room by 12:30 and take a nap... mmmmmm.... sleeeeeep... *purrrrrrrrrr*

I sent a postcard off to my sister today... man I miss her like crazy. my mom said they might be able to come up and visit me in April, so I'm sooooo crossing my fingers on that one. also, I was talking to WendyLady, and saying that there's a possibility I might be driving out to PA this summer, maybe, and she said that if she's not taking classes maybe maybe she'll come out and visit the Amiekins and then drive out to PA with me... maybe maybe maybe... that would be exceptionally cool, because if I'm not alone we could crash at rest stops and save money and stuff. plus, you know, blast shitty 80's music and just have a blast in general... woot woot.

so I didn't forget to eat today, which is good, and so far the birth control is still okay, at least to say nothing bad has happened, my head hasn't fallen off or anything... but of course, it's still too soon to tell, but I'm just trying to remain optimistic, dag nabbit.

okay, now I'm rambling because I'm bored, so I'm going to stop typing and step away from the keyboard.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 6:03 PM   0 comments

So I'm between classes right now, 3 down, 2 more to go... of course, that's hardly an accurate way of looking at it... seeing as my first three classes are, all together, 3 hours long, and my next class is 3 hours by itself...

just thought I'd take this opportunity to point out that I can check my email and my website during the day, even if I can't get onto AIM... so if anyone wants to email me or leave me messages on my website on Mondays or Thursdays, it would do a lot to put a smile on my face on an otherwise grueling and tiring day.

coming up next, bio lab *insert cheesy science music a la 1970's pbs shows*, and touring the CCAT house (Campus Center for Appropriate Technology)... should be interesting at the very least.

on the new birth control, so far so good... I feel less psychotic today, but then maybe thats just me seeing as I've only taken one of the damn things and it's really too soon to tell. crossing my fingers, though.

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 1:18 PM   0 comments

I got a lot accomplished this weekend, all told, which is why I haven't posted more until now. I've done a lot of reading so that I'm mostly caught up through Wednesday, but I want to read Notes from Underground one more time since I have a quiz on it on Tuesday, so hopefully I'll be able to get that done. I have like 6 novels in my backpack because I don't know what I'll have time to start tomorrow and what I won't, and two of them are books that I've already finished that I either plan to go over again or am still using in class.

So I guess now is as good as any time to admit that I did, in fact, make a new years resolution this year (well, a couple, but that's for another day), and so far I've been doing well with it. I decided not to resolve to lose weight, because a) I refuse to weigh myself because it only depresses me, and b) I don't really give a shit what I weigh, I want to see results, and c) my main goal is to be healthy, and specifically because I've heard that losing a significant amount of weight will sometimes go a long way towards correcting hormonal problems like I have. I didn't start on this before I left for school because a) my family never buys anything healthy to eat, and b) it was too friggin hot to go walking outside except at night, and I had no one to go at night with. But I've started now, over the past week, and even though I planned to make allowences for being cursed, I didn't take advantage of them. I've started walking at the track at my school since there isn't one friggin treadmill on this campus, and I actually sort of like the track better, because at least there are things to look at. I've also started doing situps every night, and they seem to be increasing in number even though I never set out with that in mind. like the first night I did only 20, but over the last 4 days it's gone up to 100. So in the exercise arena, I'm making progress... don't know if it will be fast enough progress to satisfy me, but we'll see, right? In the food category I haven't done too bad, but haven't done as well as I'd like. I haven't been overeating, at least, but the problem is that, with my schedule being what it is, I have forgotten meals entirely at least 5 or 6 times in the last two weeks. I've started taking a multi-vitamin, though, and hopefully I won't forget this week. The last thing, which I admit is a strange ally in this battle, is that I've become an avid crocheter (is crocheter a word?)... but the thing is that I tend to get the munchies when I'm bored, and well, if I crochet when I'm bored instead of munch on crackers or whatever, well, the benefit is definitely there...

so they switched my birth control so that, instead of $40 a month my cost is now $4 a month... good, monetary wise, but now I just have to wait and see if there are any side effects. the last ones had side effects, but only to the extent that I lost weight and my boobs got bigger. wouldn't it be tragic if the same happened again? It's wierd, these new ones are in one of those round compact thingies that you always see birth control in, but it's new to me since mine weren't like that... the case has holes in the back so that you poke the pills out through the back of the plastic case... maybe I'm odd, but I would find it exceptionally cool if they would design birth control that came in a pez dispenser....

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 12:16 AM   0 comments

Saturday, February 01, 2003


41 days

posted by Cat Named Eggroll @ 9:16 PM   0 comments

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