I know this may sound a little silly, but when I come back for the begining of a new semester, I sort of feel like a local celebrity on campus. I run into my students from semesters class, and I love to hear how they're doing and how they ended up doing in the class. Nearly all of them credit me with their success, which feels good, even though it's not really true. The truth that I've realized is that I am the road map that helps to navigate through the course, but it's really they who must actually make the journey. The most remarkable thing to me is seeing a student go from absolutely horrified at the prospect of taking a biology class, to comfortable or even excited by the end of the semester. Some students gain immeasurable academic confidence from triumphing over the one class they've been fearing, sometimes for years. This semester my worksheets are being printed up into a booklet. It seems silly, but I got a rush seeing the "compiled by Stacy Garrison" printed on the cover. I've often thought about what it would be like to have my name on a book, but I confess that I never imagined it would have anything to do with science. It's amazing to me, but the longer I am involved in the sciences, the more I am able to enjoy reading and writing the way I want to. I was thinking about it, and I imagine if I go into forensic science I could easily end up writing crime or mystery novels based on my experiences. Or maybe I will still end up doing science writing in some capacity, and create road maps for people, like my students, who have immense potential to understand science when it's written in normal English.
Quite honestly, this is the best job I've ever had, and it makes me a little bit sad to think that this may be my last semester, if I don't come back here for a second degree. I can't wait to meet my new students this semester. I hope I can make this class as memorable for them as my past students have made it for me.
At the moment, aside from a few issues that need to be fixed, things are going well for me right now.
First off, my financial aid is messed up. Turns out they cancelled one of my loans because I'm only going to be here for one semester, and so instead of the usual refund I get, I got a bill. This means that I have to go into the financial aid office on Monday, the first day of school, stand in a huge line, and try to restore things to the way they should be. Hopefully I can get the loan back and all will be well with the world. I am assured by many of my school mates that this is most likely the case, and so I am trying to be optimistic since there's nothing else I can do until Monday. Wish me luck there.
So far, out of 9 total suitemates, I would say there are 6 so far that I am totally excited about living with, and one hasn't even arrived yet. The other two I am indifferent about at the moment. There are two confirmed Harry Potter fans, and about 5 who want me to teach them how to knit, as well as one who already knits and was very excited when I mentioned that I do as well. One of the suitemates has four geckos that are the cutest little things, and she is enthusiastic about me getting to hold them. Today I spent time with one of them, a female named Polaris, who seemed to enjoy perching on the top of my head.
I've been thinking a lot about my options after graduation, and so far two equally plausible options seem the most reasonable to me. Hopefully I will be admitted into the genetics counseling program at UC Irvine. That is my first choice because I would be able to go straight into grad school without having to back track to pick up more science classes. Also, it's very directed, with a predictable path afterwards, which appeals to me. If I don't get in to that program, I think I will return to Humboldt State and get a second bachelors degree in Biology, and then possibly get a masters degree in Forensic Science. While I might be admitted to that program now (I'm not sure if they'd allow it or not), I'd still have to make up all of the undergraduate stuff I haven't done yet. I figure if I'm going to have to make it up anyway, I might as well get a second degree to show for it and give myself the flexibility to find a new path that may or may not have crossed my radar yet. I also told Chris that I am willing to work for a while so that he can go into a credential program (or anything else, for that matter) before I do grad school. Although the genetics counceling program is my first choice, I think I would be happy going the other route as well. It could be nice to live up here, get an apartment or even a house, if Anthony stays up here as well, and spend some time growing into my life a little bit. I have to admit, this place is relaxing, almost the polar opposite of Southern California where everyone is always going somewhere. Whatever I do, the choice will involve lots of discussion with Chris and my mother, but I think these options are sound.
I really like my room this semester. It's small, but it's not cramped, with lots of room for everything I brought (dare I say it, maybe even a little extra room.) It's nice to live with people without having to be in the same room with anyone unless I've invited them in. It's also nice to be able to stay up as late as I want without feeling bad for keeping anyone up. All in all I feel like this will be a productive semester. I'm sure I'll be stressed out at times, as always, but having my own little sanctuary is already making all the difference in the world. That's always been the case with me. As long as I'm comfortable in my living arrangements, I can be okay in pretty much everything else. When I'm uncomfortable, it wreaks havoc on everything else. I think it's even going to be a little easier to deal with being far from Fuzzy this semester, because I can talk to him without having to try and censor myself, because there's no one else being subjected to our conversations. I can be as goobery as I want and no one will care. I feel more social now, too, I guess because I have alone time; it makes it easier to face people because I have plenty of time to myself to think and write and everything else.
So, yeah. All in all, I'm feeling pretty okay about things right now.
so at Fuzzy's behest, I am posting more about the whole shitload of nothing I have to do for the next week.
I got new sheets at Ross. They're nice, a red and cream toile patterned flannel. And I got a nice textured woven blanket in place of a comforter. It looks comfy, and I'll give a full report once I've slept in them, since I know you're all waiting breathlessly on the edge of your seats.
I also got new towels, since my grandmother lost mine (along with my sheets.) I got a huge purple towel, and a normal sized one that is white with purple and green stripes. Per my mothers instructions, they look nothing like any of the towels that belong to my grandmother, so hopefully these will not go missing, although I think she secretly enjoys losing my stuff.
Cell phone reception in my room is unreliable at best, so it looks like I'll be getting a land line to supplement said crappy reception. Oh well.
So I bought my books today. All three of them. For like thirty bucks.
I put up all my posters and a bunch of my photos from last semester. I also put up my christmas lights. My room is making me happy, which is nice for a change. I even found a perfect place for my shoes.
Did I mention how much I missed buying gummi bears by the pound from Winco? I totally missed Winco. Ah, $2 gallons of milk!
All of my suitemates seem cool so far. One girls seems a little wary of being social, like she's really nervous or something, but maybe she's just tired. My suitemate across the way has 4 pet gecko's, which are super cool and enjoy crawling over me and tickling the back of my neck.
So with the money left on my c-card, I bought a little journal. It's cover is a green basket weave, and I think the whole thing is made out of recycled stuff. I can't tell for sure because it was made in Italy, but my best guess is that "prodotti in carta ecologica rigenerata" means something to the effect of "made from recycled materials." Anyone know Italian?
I got bit by a skeeto. I hope I don't get West Nile?
I'm not going to whine about missing Fuzzy. But I will say this: It's the most miraculous and amazing experience to notice that no matter how long we're together we just keep getting closer and closer. He's really my best friend in addition to everyone else. The hardest thing about being here is that, over the last few years, his presence has come to be a hugely comforting thing. Even when we're not talking or doing anything together, just knowing he's nearby makes me feel happy and comfortable, and now that we're far apart again I am missing that. It never ceases to amaze me how we can be in each others company for 24 hours a day for nearly 4 solid months without getting annoyed with each other. It's hard to get used to being alone for the better part of that time now.
* so the other night, I went to see King Arthur with my mom and fuzzy. it was great, except for the woman whose phone rang 5 feet away from us. she then answered the phone in the middle of the fucking movie and proceeded to talk. *stacy smash!* then, on the way out, two guys got in a fight between us and the door. it was pretty hardcore, lots of blood and stuff, but heres the best part: when security came, it was a small, middle-aged woman. I thought "no way is she going to be able to stop the fight". then she pulled out a tazer. woot.
* I'm back at school. insert typical post about how much I don't want to be here. but seriously? I don't need to make that post, because the only person I really need to understand how I feel is 12 hours away feeling the same.
* ...but first... Fuzzy took me to see Rasputina last night, for my first time. Can I even say how much I love this band? Like for really even. They're one of the very few bands that you can listen to and not ever think of another band that sounds like them. And seriously, I can't even express how impressive they are in person. Fuzzy isn't into them at all, and even he was blown away by the skill they ooze out of every pore. The only more impressive cellist I've ever seen is Yo Yo Ma, and I want to have Yo Yo Ma's babies. And this was totally different because of the style of music. So much intensity, plus the fact that they're singing and perfectly synched up with one another. It was just phenomenal. And they played my 2 favorite songs within the first 15 minutes on stage. best. concert. ever. Two years is definitely the Rasputina anniversary.
* After standing up for like 5 hours for the concert, however, I feel like suck. My legs hurt, but something else hurts and I don't know what the fuck it is, I can only point at it if you ask. And it hurts like hell. I feel like an alien is going to come bursting out of my body.
* Today my grandmother passed out and stopped breathing. Fortunately I wasn't the only one home, so Rod and Fuzzy got her to the couch while I called 911. She came around and all, in time to stubbornly refuse to go to the hospital, and spent the rest of the night sleeping on the couch until my uncle came home and put her in her bed. This, needless to say, has created a load of conflicting feelings in me, and I can only imagine what it's going to be like when she really dies. Don't really know what to say about this.
* I really hate this house. Like, if I have to live here anymore I'm going to scratch my eyes out. Also, I'll stab my ears with pencils so I don't have to deal with my grandmothers shit anymore. Today she was irritated with my mother because she "wasn't informed" that my sister is online, even though Amie's computer has been internet capable for over 4 years now. Then she proceeded to bitch that "that's probably why the dr hasn't called" her back yet. Even though today is Sunday. And we've been gone camping, and thus not tying up the phone line, for a week. And this is yet one more fucking thing that is none of her damn business seeing as she's not Amie's mother and has no say in whether my sister is allowed to use the internet. Oh, also, last week out of nowhere she decided we needed to start using her lamps from the old house. The ones that haven't been used in well over 10 years. The ones that aren't sufficient, so we can't even put the other lamps away, we just have more fucking lamps. Also she pulled out a box of toys that were mine but that I haven't seen in about 20 years now. The day before I left for vacation. What the fuck is wrong with this woman? I really am starting to hate her, and I hate her even more for the fact that she's making me hate her, which I feel guilty for. She's a master of guilt trips, and she can't even fucking make an effort not to annoy me. So now when she dies I have a good few years of guilt to work through. Thanks, you old bitch. It's gotten so bad I can't even stand the sound of her breathing. And she's so bitter, it's like she's toxic to be around. *pulls out hair*
* Camping was okay, even though there wasn't much to do. There were shitloads of bugs and it was way too hot for me so that I had about 5 asthma attacks while we were gone. I thought of leaving early, but seeing as that option involved being back in the house with the above mentioned ungodly woman, I stuck it out. MASH was filmed up there, so the hills made the theme song get stuck perpetually in my head. Fuzzy hiked up to the site, but there wasn't much there. I got a bunch of reading done, which was nice.
* So we leave for a week, and the kittens totally grew, like by a lot. Zelda is like twice as heavy now, and so is Pyewacket, but she was teeny so it's not quite so much.
* My sister is friends with this girl. She bitches about said girl constantly, and I can't stand said girl because, not only is she annoying, but my sister becomes 900 times as annoying as usual when this girl comes over. They're gone right now, at least, so I can sleep tonight.
* I can't wait to have my own kitchen. One that isn't disgusting and that I can actually enjoy cooking in. I have turned into such a domestic.
* My wrist is fucked up. Last night Fuzzy rolled over on it, and it popped in a way wrists are not supposed to stop. We have a brace and an ace bandage. Both are the most uncomfortable things imaginable, and it's not helping and it hurts really bad. meh