My sister was in a wedding tonight. She wasn't supposed to be in the wedding tonight, but since her other sister is pregnant and couldn't fit into the dress she was supposed to wear, and my mom agreed to alter the dress to fit my sister, my sister took her place. The shoes they had ordered didn't fit. In fact they were two sizes too small. So after talking to the mother of the groom, my mom and I went to every effing store in the mall trying to find shoes that were similar enough. We found shoes that were very close, minus some rhinestones, so my mom got them and then added rhinestones to the shoes to make them match better. Now, my mom frequently adds rhinestones to things for dance competitions and lots of other things, so it's not like Aunt Ethel went crazy with the bedazzler or anything, they looked just fine. The bride, however, threw a fit because they weren't exactly the same as the shoes the other girls were wearing, so my sister had to spend the entire effing ceremony wearing shoes that were TWO EFFING SIZES too small for her. If it had been me, I think I would have bludgeoned her with the shoes.

So it got me thinking. If I ever go into a mode like that, someone please effing shoot me, because I obviously don't have the sanity to be embarking on a life-long relationship. And here, for your approval, I submit my Contract for my Wedding Attendants.

For All attendants, I expect you to:
*attend my wedding, wearing the respective garments me and Fuzzy have chosen.
*have bathed in recent memory
*be reasonably well groomed
*have a good time and relax, for crying out loud

I promise you:
*I will not try to micromanage every aspect of your attire and appearance
*You can choose your own goddamned shoes, goddamnit. My only guidelines are that they be black, and for the girls, sandals. Trust me, May/June in Southern California, and you will enjoy the fact that you're wearing sandals. They can have any size heel you want, and I don't care if you take them off the second the ceremony is over, because I will be doing the same thing.
*You can wear your hair however the hell you want (with the possible exception of dreadlocks.)
*I will do my very best to make this as fun and as inexpensive an experience as possible. My mom is making all the dresses, which will save everyone around $100 a piece. Most of you will be having to make expensive travel arrangements, so I hope this helps a bit.

Other random things I am tentatively planning, just food for thought:
*bachelorette party at Disneyland. several of you are underage, and seriously, I've seen male strippers, they are NASTY, AND most of you have never been. Anyone can come, including the groom and his guys. atypical, maybe, but seriously, what can be better than a huge unruly mob invading Disneyland?
*I'm doing the flowers myself, and I'm thinking that all of the ladies can put together they're own bouquet, if you want to. If not, I'll put one together for you.
*Chatham reunion at the Yard House. Lots of booze and silly hats, and lets not forget the obnoxious laughs and table pounding. Woot.

So, for those of you who are not English majors, there's an English poet named John Donne, who wrote a poem called "The Flea." It's not what most people would expect from a poet of Donne's generation, but basically the poem is the narrator trying to talk the target of the poem into shagging him. His logic goes something like this: a flea bit you, and then me, and so our blood is mixed in the flea, which is sort like marriage anyway, so we might as well do it.

I was talking to my mom earlier today, and she was telling me about how Mike was starting in with his "awww, look how beautiful Amie is. Do you know why she's beautiful? Because she's made of both of us..." This may sound cheesy at first glance, but mix Donne's element with a dash of leisure suit larry and a liberal drownding of Italian smarminess (and no, that is not an insult to Italians, my sister is Italian, but this man is really the ultimate in flesh-crawl-inducing Italian male steriotype), and you have a truly revolting scenario. He says these things when he's trying to get back in my mom's good graces, or, more explicitly, back in her pants. This time, my mom cut him off after the "You know why she's beautiful?" part, and interjected with "Because she looks just like me." Yay mom.

Also, my new pet peeve is people who apparently can't tell the difference between a two-way stop and a four-way stop. I just love it when some fricking nimrod pulls out in front of me seconds before I get there and I DON'T HAVE A STOPSIGN. I especially love it when said dickwad STOPS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMNED INTERSECTION. *grumblegrumblegrumblegrumble*

So yesterday was definitely interesting. It was April 20th, and, as many of you know, I live very near the marijuana capital of the northern hemisphere. I'm sure people in other places smoke out in celebration of the date, but here, it's a whole different beast. Here, it's something on par with the fourth of July or new years eve. Parking was an absolute nightmare, and you could go up and down the streets and see a good portion of the cars brandishing tickets. Great masses of the mangy unwashed were literally just heading for the trees, and strange vehicles leaking smoke kept secreting dreadlocked heads, bare feet, and naked babies.

In the Bio 104 classroom, I always had the same seat, and someone had written hippies=hypocrites on the back of one of the seats in front of me. This is most definitely true of most of them, seeing as how these people are environmentalists the other 364 days out of the year, but on 4/20 they have no qualms whatsoever with wandering into the forest, tearing up flowers and plants, leaving their garbage behind, and just generally leaving destruction in their wakes. It's all bullshit, really, just people trying to fit in, only instead of doc martens and eyeliner, the must-have item is a cause. Well, a cause and billowing clothing.

I leave tomorrow for the funeral, which entails me spending 18 hours on busses and trains. I'm glad to be going, and I'm supposed to see friends I haven't seen in a while and all that, but I just kind of feel drained, or like a balloon after all the airs been let out of it. I have a lot to do today before I go, so I probably won't be able to relax too much, but it wouldn't help anyway. It's going to be hot at home, and seeing as it was in the 70's here yesterday and I was miserable, that's going to suck hard. But hey, at least there's the mexican food.

Today was sunny, so I coerced Fuzzy into going out to take some photos of our general area (say within 5 minutes of where we live)...

It's not the best design I've ever done, by any stretch of the imagination, but it's the fastest, lol... this one took me like 15 minutes, so not bad really, I guess. I like the new preview feature in Blogger's template editing page, lets you tweak things as you go to see how they'll look. The picture on top is one I took recently of the new jizz-worthy camera. Yay extreme closeups, thats only like a smidgen of the original image.

I'm holding up okay, Houdini is doing well, and we're all procrastinating this weekends impending cleaning spree. All in all things are okay, but what this place really needs is a Chatham reunion. c'mon girls, what do you think?



this, by the way, is the original photo.

we adopted her because she wasn't doing very well at Petco and needed some TLC. also my grandma died yesterday, and it's cheering me up a bit to have some new life to care for, especially one that needed rescuing. I guess thats part of my pathology, eh? she's doing well in the tank with Sapphy, who, by the way, ate 6 wax worms last night!! she goes from not eating much to gluttony in one day. I'm going to try and make it home for the funeral, if my employers are okay with it, which I'm pretty sure they will be. I'm holding up okay, just taking it one day at a time and trying not to think about it too much.

messy ass livingroom


messy ass kitchen


messy ass bedroom


messy ass bathroom


backyard/patio

Zeldarelly, all growed-up :)


porno Pyepye =O (kitty porn)


it's our little Sapphy :)


cutest. picture. ever.

So Fuzzy got me a potted flower plant for easter, and it's turned me into a gardening fiend. That first one prompted me to go get a nice pot for it to replace the ugly plastic one it came in, and in the process I fell in love with our local nursery. That first one, a purple Linaria/Baby Snapdragon, is thriving in it's new home, so on Saturday I went in to look around, because they're having a big sale, and I put together a hanging basket with Violas and Alyssum and some other taller white flower that I can't remember the name of. That one seems to be doing well too, and on Saturday while I was there I saw a Bleeding Heart that is just lovely, so I went back today and got it, as well as a pot for it. So yeah, I've gone a bit garden crazy. Also, one of our neighbors just gave us a big huge bucket with a sunflower plant in it. It's not terribly tall yet, but it's growing well. It's nice being up here, because it's been raining enough that I don't have to water them too much, but there's been enough sunny time so that they're getting plenty of light.

I will take pictures when the new camera gets here.